Mount Wesley

One of the nicest things about hiking up Mount Wesley today was going with Laura. Laura is one of the people who intimidate me. She’s fast. She’s crazy fit. She can run circles around me.

That said, after today’s experience, I would hike with her anytime anyplace. I don’t think I’ve ever spent one-on-one time with her before so we got to talk a lot today – for hours obviously. So what I discovered was that she’s super nice and kind and a fine person.

And she didn’t once make me feel I had to rush. We kept a decent pace up and down and it was lovely.

And here’s the thing: this amazing woman has MS and a few other physical issues. But her attitude is so positive and so strong! I admire her a ton. In a word, she is inspiring.

I feel like I’ve made a new friend. And that gives me warm fuzzies.

OK – the hike: Wesley is a typical Vancouver Island hike: straight up steep and straight down steep. We were promised sun. Um – no. A cloud wrapped itself around the top and the photos will show our (duh) views. What I’m trying to say here is that the views of the various fungi along the way were sensational.

Truly? It was a fine, fine day. And it’s lovely to have had a nice hot bubble bath and to be sitting here warm and cozy in my little nest knowing it’s not too long before I will chow down on a delicious pasta dinner.

Yup – good day.

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More on Politics and Life

So today I made a very conscious choice – a never-before-undertaken choice. I joined a provincial political party.

The BC Ecosocialists  Рhttp://www.bcecosocialist.ca/

I didn’t undertake it lightly. I thought I was going to become a card-carrying member of the Green Party – was all set to help a friend in my local riding. And then this came along. I read the entire party platform. I got excited. I agreed with it.

I think Greta Thunberg would like it a lot. I know that sounds rather silly – but it isn’t. Not if you listen to her message and the echoes from thousands and millions of others who are demanding a future. Because what we are doing on this planet now is taking the future away from all of us.

The time for compromise and capitulation is over. We need to act now. We need to make dramatic changes. I feel ready to do this: not for me so much, but for the children and grandchildren. They may not be my kids – but yet they are. I am an elder and I am responsible for the state of the earth I leave behind.

So – I am now a member of the BC Ecosocialists. I feel ready to do things that perhaps I wasn’t ready to do even a couple of years ago. I don’t even know yet precisely what I can and will do – or how I will contribute. But I have spoken to one of the party people and the wheels are in motion.

So that has been a win.

Next on the agenda – that one hour time difference has screwed me up a bit – ok – that’s a minor footnote if ever there was one.

I had camera issues yesterday so I went to London Drugs. I think they may be resolved. We shall see. Hiking tomorrow – Wesley or Horne – likely Mount Wesley – I’ll take a lot of photos and we’ll see if that’s all good. I got new firmware installed and I hope that sorts things out.

And other than that, I’ve been feeling an ache in my heart all day. This is not a bad thing. It just is what it is.

I am grateful for every feeling that I feel.

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Mount Moriarty

Today I was in my alpine bliss.

We set off before the dawn even cracked: Got to the trailhead at about 9.15 (long drive on logging road) and off we went. Sadly, Laura had to turn back about 15 minutes into the trip. She was feeling unwell, so she and Warren headed back. Lisa, Wendy and I soldiered on.

And here’s the thing about Moriarty: it’s steep. And there are some scrambly bits – tiny exposure here and there. Beautiful all the way. And it was warm – I mean June warm. The gloves were off; the jackets came off. It was, in a word, glorious.

We drank it in, getting higher and higher (figuratively and literally) and then got to the fairly pointy summit where we had lunch. And then down, which, surprisingly, wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected. Sure, there was a bit of bum-sliding involved, but not too, too much.

We had not only a great hike but also tons of fun. Best of all, I introduced Wendy and Lisa to good dark chocolate – I think I may have made converts. And yes, this is how you can tell that I have changed and become a better person: I now bring extra chocolate on my hikes and share it.

There may be those reading this who are gasping – possibly fainting. Yes – me – sharing my precious chocolate.

Change for the better is possible. I am living proof.

So there was another thing – a lovely kind of talking/realization.

Mike asked me maybe a week ago, what Simon and I had shared. The first thing I said was “hiking” – (the list was longer) and he opined that that was superficial.

And you know what? No. When we hiked and we both “got it” and felt that connection to beauty and nature and the Mother – we could look at each other and not need words to express the love not only for each other but for this amazing place we call home.

That is anything but superficial.

So I bask in that memory.

And it was amazing to hike to day with two friends who get it too.

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Life and Politics

Well – that day covered a lot of ground.

First – off to Flesh Auto for the electrical repair on my tail-light. That came in cheap. It turns out that the dealership in Nelson had put the wrong bulb in. Sigh. So now that’s nicely fixed. Next stop – Kal Tire to get the new windshield wiper connector installed. And that came in cheaper than quoted – hurrah!

So now everything is good. I have a new splash plate (no more duck tape) and winter tires and wipers and a tail light. All is good. And I drive home – behind a gravel truck.

Yup – one more windshield ding. I mean really? My third one this year!

Grrrr.

Deep breath. All is well. I will stop by the glass shop early next week.

So, after lunch, I get a text from Julie – walk in Hemer? Absolutely! So – happy Ocean and happy Abby and lots of chattering. I fed Abby and then I read the entire platform of the new BC Ecosocialist Party.

Okay! I am excited. I can get behind everything here. Oh sure, I may want a few clarifications, but this is a platform I can cheer about and get excited about. This is NOT politics as usual. This actually address the emergency we are facing – it addresses the extinction event we find ourselves in.

Yeah – I like this. This is exciting. Next step – a talk with one of the party organizers on Sunday. How can I help? What can I do?

And now – well, I’d better get my butt in gear for Mount Moriarty tomorrow. I have been wanting to do this mountain for ages. Yay! Very excited. But first I need to break out more duck tape – this time on my backpack.

Oh well.

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Politics and Life

I spent most of the day working (writing) and at about three p.m. – finished – took Abby to Hemer Park. It was another glorious fall day. As I walked, I thought a lot. Simon and I had a PM conversation this morning that centred on politics.

Ah yes – politics. I am about to get involved in the Green party BC – and I have mixed feelings. I’ve been deeply disappointed by Andrew Weaver’s approach. He has, in my opinion, played politics, rather than stood firm on principle and everything that the Green Party stands for. The Green Party holds the balance of power. One would think that would mean something. Apparently it does not. We have Site C and we have LNG (the biggest polluter yet) and we have massive clearcutting – 82 new clearcuts (I refuse to call them them the euphemism “cut block.”) in endangered caribou habitat – and we have killing of wolves because you know – caribou.

Yes – it just goes on and on. The NDP have become just one more party that campaigns from the left and governs from the right – and the Greens are enabling them.

And yet, given what the Green party stands for, I suspect it is our only hope.

What I don’t like is the game. I don’t like the system. And I don’t think too many people do. I hear over and over how this is the way it is and we have to prevaricate and on and on and yet… and yet I see how people react to Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and I see that the majority of people are ready for real change – not the surface stuff we get fed. No tweaks – massive revolution of the “way it is.”

I am reminded of the first book Terry Fallis wrote “The Best Laid Plans.” Anyone who aspires to politics should read this book: the reluctant politician who unexpectedly wins and goes to Parliament and just tells the truth and stands on his principles.

It’s a cute book; it’s entertaining; it’s funny; most would call the situation implausible. I don’t. I think people are ready for truth. I think they are ready for real answers instead of well-worn talking points. I think they want their MPs and MLAs to vote for their constituents – not to have their votes whipped.

If I am going to be involved, it will be as a truth teller. Either that or I’m out. Simple.

And so I thought about life. Having recently finished reading a magnificent book, “Lost Connections” – I do believe this book hits the proverbial nail on its head. The cause of the unhappiness and depression in this world cannot be fixed with a magic pill. We have to get to the root of it, and that is the fact that we have less and less connection – with ourselves, with others, with family, with nature, with our ideals…

I thought about my happiness: how I am in a state of bliss when I am in the alpine. How I feel connected and at peace in nature. But the happiest I have ever been? When I have truly loved and been intimately connected – when the love has flowed both ways.

Happy moments: Sitting on top of Snowbird Pass with Simon (alpine and love – does it get any better?). Trekking across Switzerland (in spite of bleeding blisters).

Many more moments like this – but those two come to mind immediately. Connection. I am blessed to have had it – to have it – to feel it.

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Gratitude

For the second time this week, I had the great good fortune to be with a (new) friend and listen to the transformation of this past weekend when she attended Breakthrough (second course in the Excellence Series).

I was there to work on her story. But mostly, we just talked. She told me she was grateful to me. I explained – no, I am the one who is grateful. To see another person win so big in their life – that is gratitude. My heart swells, bursts – I want to do a happy dance.

I want every person on the planet to feel like this – to discover more and more of who they are and then to expand into that being – that authentic self.

So – I am grateful. I feel blessed that I got to bathe in that light today.

Oh yes – we did do a bit of work – so yes, I will be writing tomorrow.

But what a great day it has been. And this morning I walked with Abby in Hemer Park, capturing more of magical October light.

I look at my life. I look at the love I have in my life. I also look at the work I have to do – work I know that I want to do – work that will help this dear earth. And yet – what has been offered so far hasn’t felt like a fit. I’m waiting – knowing I will attract it. In the meanwhile, I do what I can, hoping to make a difference. Mostly, I hope that just being on this earth ant this time, serves a greater purpose.

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Thinking and Feeling on Maple Mountain

I chose a familiar hike today because I simply wanted to be in the rhythm of walking – let my thoughts and feelings drift as they wanted.

Hiking is my walking meditation. And it was a beautiful thing. The day was gorgeous: as fine a day in October as it’s possible to get. The lights was pure gold – the sun as warm as a day in early June.

And so I walked and let my emotions drift through the last weeks and months.

Mike: I was so in love with him 15 years ago and I wanted to recapture that feeling. But feelings can’t be forced and what was and is there is tremendous friendship – a feeling of caring and compassion – wanting him to find what he wants – that one to one connection that is so enriching and affirming.

And I hope that we will always be friends. Why didn’t it work? Mike said it beautifully when we talked last night: “I don’t know who you are.”

Truth. When we met all those years ago, I turned myself into what I thought he wanted. It wasn’t me. And somewhere in all that he knew it – said he felt I was inauthentic. I was.

I have been inauthentic in every relationship. Wanting desperately not to be my mother – I turned into my mother: molding myself into what I thought my partner wanted and needed while the real me was dying inside. That is no way to build a relationship. In fact, it guarantees that it will fail.

I did what was was modelled. Those were my patterns.

The greatest gift I got from the Hoffman Process was the gift of me – my authenticity. I broke those patterns. But, in some ways, it makes me a different person.

One of the things I told Mike last night was that I still loved Simon – love him deeply, romantically, authentically. The good news is that I don’t have to have him love me back. I am in a place of joy feeling the love inside, being free to feel it, give it, experience it – and know that it’s real and doesn’t demand or require anything in return.

When I think of Simon, I think of the things we shared Рhow madly we laughed Рthe good things. Were there tough things? You bet. Had I been authentic throughout our relationship, I suspect I would have handled those things differently. However, the lessons I learned were  and are valuable.

What I am left with is love: not only for Simon – for his beautiful daughter as well. And I am left with a deep love for my beautiful friends, knowing I am blessed to have so many.

I am left feeling compassion and love for myself and for this world/earth/universe/Mother that I am connected to. We are all one. This I know. And at the heart of that connection is love.

And that is how I walked through the day on Maple Mountain.

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