I spent a reasonably soporific day in Nelson.
Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me. Anyone else, it seems, can easily pull off driving an hour and some to a city, dropping off their car, killing (!) 4 hours and driving back – while running a few errands on the way.
But I came back feeling mentally exhausted.
Nothing I did was hard – except maybe hearing the cost of repairs – over $1,000 – yikes! Looking closely at my exploding budget.
Shit happens, right?
At any rate, I dropped off my car and started climbing up the huge hill that is Nelson. I don’t think there’s a flat block in the entire town. I got up to the Great Trail and started walking. Once above the city, the trail is flat – an old rail grade. And for whatever reason, my body doesn’t like flat walking. And my backpack was unreasonably heavy and I didn’t have my hiking poles and and and – pooooor me. (yeah, I know, you are shedding tears as we speak.)
It was 20 plus degrees, which was rather nice. And I had the backpack because I knew I would be peeling off the layers.
At any rate, I had lunch in the sun and then walked back to hear all the good and bad news about the car. Then off to the Co-op to shop for groceries. And the drug store for items like toothpaste and hair conditioner. And finally home with a stop at the Co-op gas bar.
And I am so done.
I have to repeat the process a week from today when all the parts for the big work are in – this time for 5 hours. Luckily, I spotted a trail going off the rail trail that appears to go to the top of the ridge – at least, that’s what the map says.
I had time to do a lot of thinking on my walk – my most profound thought? I look back on my life and my memories don’t feel entirely real. I feel like I am watching a movie and the person in it is not really me. Did that happen? Was it a dream? Am I the only one whose memories are entirely disembodied? I mean, I don’t remember things from my body viewpoint. All the visual memories are from outside my body watching myself.
And then I wondered about this thing called time – for a few brief moments, I felt as though time doesn’t really exist. There is only now and does now even exist? Now – all we have – all we care about and love and live for is all now.
Yeah – it got existential. And I still feel like I am floating in some sort of surreal space.
It feels fine. I am in a place of letting go – of what I am not so sure – but it’s okay.