Absolutely – my brain/mind is not functioning at optimal levels today.
Why? Too much input – too much not under my control.
I feel like I do when I’m on a train on a long ride and all I can do is stare out the window. Soporific to say the least. So much so that when I got home from my walk with Simon and the pups, I had to lie down for a few minutes and close my eyes.
I still feel that way. But the moment I do that, images and thoughts come rushing at me from all sides.
One of the things that is bothering me (among many) is the stupidity of people – allowing Koch and deVos money to put them on the streets, protesting being at home so that they don’t have to die.
And I am bothered by our capitalist system and all its proponents who believe that the “economy” is more important than human life. By the economy, of course, they mean their ability to become richer and richer on the backs of the underpaid workers.
And I am especially bothered by people – fairly smart people – suddenly falling into all these conspiracy theories about who started this virus and how it’s tied up with 5G and how WHO is at fault and on and on and on.
The only conspiracy I see is disaster capitalism – our much vaunted Doctor Bonnie Henry shilling for John Horgan to keep man camps open so that Site C and LNG can go ahead and protesters are not allowed to gather (Horgan’s emergency measures act) and can be arrested with impunity.
The big conspiracy? The rich trampling over our rights, buying the politicians and those same politicians doing their bidding. But this is nothing new – it’s just a lot more obvious now.
It all makes me extremely tired.
So today, I am baking sourdough bread with my new starter and doing house chores. And tomorrow I will be writing and gardening.
And I’ll be trying to overcome my need for more order in my life. Or – not overcome it because I doubt my ability to do that – just to learn to live with it. To let it go. Trying…