What I know is that to live life fully and joyously, it works to live in the moment. The present time. The right now.

So WTF am I doing thinking about the future and spending most of my time there? I mean in the sense that – damn – March 20 seems like an age away.

Because, you see, March 20 is when I see Simon again and get to hug him and have actual face time with him.

It’s the old, “How many more days to Christmas” syndrome. No! Live in the present! I can’t – I have a damn Advent calendar. How the hell do you expect me to stay in the now?

Yeah, I know – I am still a five-year-old.

But then, I talk myself into the perfect excuse: by focussing on the future and bringing it into the now, I’m inviting in the Law of Attraction, right? I am creating my future – the future of my dreams!

Ha! Sure hope that one flies.

And then there’s the ultimate, perfect reasoning (NOT excuse) for being the way I am – and that is that I am simply being the way I am. This is the human condition – to plan for the future and, when it’s truly exciting, to yearn for it. It is also our nature to miss and yearn for the beloved.

So – rather than fight it, I realize that this is my present state. So I am embracing the present because the present is about the future.

There. I think I have done a magnificent job of convoluted thinking.

Proud of myself, I am.