I’m back home – quite a bit sooner than I expected to be.
I’m struggling with finding the words to express what I’m feeling – and the reasons why I made the decision to leave Oregon so soon. I’m probably also struggling with even understanding what occurred.
Mike and I knew that we couldn’t be sure how we would feel about being together again. We were hopeful, I think.
And now – what? Of course we were not madly “in love.” That state of infatuation had come and gone all those years ago. But what about love? The deep, lasting kind?
I don’t think there is any question that I love Mike. He has a beautiful heart and soul. And maybe it was bad timing, given some of the difficult situations he had to deal with right away.
And I could have been kinder, gentler about leaving.
I’m still processing it all. And perhaps it was far too soon after Simon and I parting. I still love Simon dearly. I always will.
I will always love Mike.
But the feeling this morning of needing to come home was too strong to ignore.
And that’s all the analyzing I can do for now.
I just hope that the love and kindness and compassion I feel manage to float over some unseeable air waves…..