I had a chance to take a last walk with Sheila today – out on the Awesome Trail.

We timed it perfectly: it was a chilly foggy morning but at the exact time we left to meet up at Bannock Point, the mist cleared and the sun came out – it was, in a word, perfect.

Of course, Abby loved it too.

It was another one of those bittersweet moments. I’m finding it hard to describe my emotions. Sheila is such a beautiful soul. When we started talking about seeing each other again and being friends for life, I welled up with tears. I love her. I will miss her – and I’m glad to be going home. It’s all such a mess, all mashed up into a ball.

I am holding space to feel everything I’m feeling. Joy, anticipation, sorrow, anxiety, happiness – everything all at once.

Nostalgia too. Memories, particularly of Simon and I – in our early days of being so much in love.

And now – still caring but needing distance. Both of us.

I will allow the feelings to be there, honour them and move on into what comes next.

I am grateful and awed by the amount of love that fills me. I don’t think I was fully aware of how much love there is – how many people I love – how many love me – how real and genuine it is.

I am blessed.