Now that our plans are falling more firmly into place, I’m beginning to get in touch with my feelings. And I don’t quite know how to describe them. I also feel slightly constrained about doing that in this medium.
Still – as best I can – because Simon and I talked about this today when we walked the dogs on the beach (happy dogs – see photos). First, I’m profoundly glad that Simon is excited and enthusiastic about getting on with his life. He is pursuing his dream and that’s what I truly want for him.
I also hope he gets back to his music because he is so good and so talented. And once he is alone again, I feel pretty sure he will.
As for me, I have crazy mixed feelings. I’m glad to be getting on with my life. It looks very much like I will be able to get to Europe for a very long walk in August. And boy – do I ever need a very long walk. I feel incredibly sad that all of this didn’t work out and I often feel a lump in my throat.
But I am also looking ahead and moving forward. I am so grateful to Kathleen for giving me a safe space to be in Vancouver for just a few days. What I need most right now, in addition to what I already have (gratitude) is a place I can move to and that will feel like home. That safe place is very important to me.
I am simply going to trust that it will all come together.