We were going to do Lightning Strike today. But Karleigh is sick. I chose not to head out on my own either because it was snowing a fair bit. I deemed it unsafe to drive.
And so I have a domestic day. Bread is in the oven and I’ve looked at Facebook way way way too much.
And then I got restless. And then I began to examine my life, which leads to where it usually does: new haircut and fresh makeup. Hey – I know this for a fact: if you change the way you look (new wardrobe fits in here too) you entire life improves! For five minutes.
There are times when I am extraordinarily grateful that we are not even remotely within driving distance of a major mall.
One of my thoughts: I am uninspired. I should be writing. Yes, I am shoulding on myself. But I don’t want to do anything. I am in a state of mindlessness, which, I am assuming, is not nearly as productive as mindfulness.
I truly do not want to start another manuscript that will be filed into my desktop “manuscript” folder never to be opened again.
I blame it all on a state of flux. Hell, I have to blame all this on something. I can’t blame it on some one – Simon is the only person here (other than dogs) and I can’t for the life of me see any way that he’s at fault. I may have to turn to the dogs. They’re probably aliens doing some sort of mind control thingy.
Simon and I and aformentioned puppies will do a bit of a snowshoe this afternoon. It’s probably just as well. Praying for good weather tomorrow so that I can get out and heave my body up a mountain.
I fear that left alone with just my thoughts they will eventually devolve into questions like: “What is the meaning of my life? What’s the point of even going on in this cold, cruel world? What have I done with my life other that fritter it away? And what, for god’s sake, am I going to do now that will get me excited to be alive?”
Best to get back to Facebook.