There it is – the first snowfall of the year. And by that I mean the first snowfall where we actually live – not up to where we hike. Yep – Simon activated the snowblower today. I dug out my winter boots. Shanara rolled in it and didn’t want to come inside. Abby cuddled up to the fire and wouldn’t go outside.
In other words – a perfectly normal winter scene.
I started writing a new book today – only a couple of pages but I like the way it’s starting, so that’s good.
And I have been frantically engaged in online activities – petition singing, sharing stuff, and basically, not backing down.
A few things are different for me lately. And I don’t mean different by small degrees – rather large by my measurements.I think I mentioned this a week or more ago – that I used to be such a “people pleaser” – so wrapped up in what other people thought of me or if they liked me, especially if they were people I admired or who had authority. That’s pretty much gone.
I’ve found my voice.
But there’s another thing I have noticed in the last few days. I am more willing to engage – and I don’t mean in arguments. Let me explain. There are awful things in this world – things that hurt my heart. The killing of a rhino in a zoo for the sake of its horn – heartbreaking. I never wanted to see stuff like that. Oh I did see it – hard to escape. But the hurt was almost debilitating for me.
No more. I am ready to engage. No more suffering quietly. I am ready to shout out my anger. Whatever needs to be done to stop this madness – this utter insanity, I am ready to engage. The time for licking my petty personal wounds is gone. I can’t afford that sort of indulgence any longer. The world is crying out for all of us to step up and get past our personal suffering. No one is suffering more that Gaia herself and we have to fight.
So I’ll fight. If I am vilified, so be it. I don’t give a damn. I am only one person but if I can have the smallest influence, then that is a life worth living.
I will continue to find ways to help. However big or small that is, I’ll find a way. And if people unfriend me, so be it. I have, at long last, learned to distinguish between my problems and those of everyone else. I’ll deal with mine – the rest I have no power over.
Mostly, I am learning to listen to my inner voice and follow it. It’s about time.