A Fine Balance

What I told Simon this morning as he left for work: “I’m going to do absolutely nothing today!”

So far so good. And, let me clarify that what I mean by “nothing” is not doing anything I don’t like, want to, or enjoy doing.

That left the door nicely open for leaving the house shortly after nine with the dogs and hiking up to Payne Bluffs. I went at a good clip to feel my heart rate go up and to feel like I’d accomplished at least one little physical thing today.

After lunch, a man came to pick up the dryer! (Yay!).

Then into the garden to pick a mess of greens for dinner. As I told Simon yesterday, we have to eat either greens or a salad every single day for the rest of eternity. And then I made matters worse by finishing off the pak choy and planting more lettuce.

Oh well.

I try to strike a fine balance between having enough food every day and having backup (just in case.). So far I have been wildly unsuccessful. It occurs to me that I should have sent the buyer of the dryer home with a monster bag full of collard greens. And maybe Swiss chard. Yes, definitely Swiss chard.

I also try to strike a balance between happiness and despair. I waver back and forth on that line: wanting to be back on the island – loving the hiking and the alpine right where I am; appreciating the fact that I don’t have to water the garden and desperate for warmth and sunshine. Most of all, the balance between hope and despair.

The answer may well be to stop listening to news. But I also want to be informed. I want to be of use to the world and, at the same time, I want to hide in a cave, grow my own food, and pretend the rest of the planet doesn’t exist.

A balance? Maybe not possible. I feel the time has come to draw a line in the sand and make a choice: which side are you on.

Perhaps the entire idea of balance and compromise has always been lie that we tell ourselves. Know yourself; know your ethics and morals – stand up for them.

Personally, I choose humanity and compassion. I choose the rights of nature and the wild things over those of the greedy among us. I choose life and beauty for generations to come over short term gain and greed.

I choose love over fear.

I choose peace over war.

I choose truth over lies.

And I wonder why it is that evil seems to win most of the time. That’s my despair talking.

I have no idea if there is a fine balance between hope and despair. Perhaps there is – my only evidence being that I am still alive and walking – laughing, being giddy, falling in love with mountain splendour all over again every day.

About goodyniosi

Writer, avid(!!!) hiker - living life to the fullest. Love, life, bliss - getting high on getting high (in the alpine that is)
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