Although I had an active day – the usual – domestic stuff plus walking in the woods and making new trails in the snow – I came back home, sat down and felt like my life is on hold – a waiting phase: an airplane circling the field waiting for the tower to give me the OK to land.
Waiting for the house to sell and then wondering (worrying?) about finding a place to live on the island, and are the rents going to be out of reach? Waiting to hear from a publisher – will someone pick up my manuscript? Waiting for the roads to be driveable again so that I don’t have to be dependent on someone else to get me there. Waiting for things that are out of my control.
I realized too that I could get down about all this. But what would be the point of that? Every day I focus on what I can do. I write. These last couple of days I’ve been letting ideas for stories play through my head. I think I’m getting hold of quite a good one for my next story. Every day I get out. Now that’s it’s darn cold out there, and especially when the sun is in hiding, it seems so much easier to just say, “Hell with it – I’m going to stay inside.” Luckily, I’ve had enough experience with this to know that the best thing to do every day is get out for at least a couple of hours. Five minutes after starting to move, everything looks and feels better.
The other things that help is all the little stuff. It’s not much, doing laundry, vacuuming – but getting those things done at least feels like I’m accomplishing something no matter how small.
What a strange and interesting chapter this part of my life has become: unforeseen, unpredicted, unexpected – even puzzling in many ways.
Like everything else in life, it’s all here in order for me to learn – mostly about myself.
Big snowshoe tomorrow – looking forward to it so much. Getting out into the alpine in the snow is a glorious experience.
Also thrilled that Simon is doing well with his book. The big payoff hasn’t come yet – but the momentum is building. He’s getting amazing reviews – the biggest five-stars are coming from people who love fantasy fiction – and that’s a big deal. So – hurrah!