This is pretty much what it looks like outside our windows. Hyperbole? Exaggeration? Nope – not really. I’ve spent the last hour or so shovelling the dog walk – and building two sets of snow stairs to go up and down the back hill. I did this not so much because I had to as because I wanted to. If I had to spend the entire day inside staring at a computer screen I would go certifiably mad.
Plan A was to go skiing in Nelson with P’nina. Plan B was to drive to the Canadian Tire store in Castlegar to get a few kitchen items. Clearly, Simon and I went with Plan C.
For a minute or two this morning I thought I’d made the wrong choice – hey – the roads weren’t that bad! Boy – am I glad I didn’t drive and I’m glad that Simon didn’t drive in this. The roads are stupidly awful. Our driveway is snowed in. All we’ve got out there is a dog path and two sets of snow stairs. LOL!
On another note, I created a new website (WordPress) yesterday goodyniosiwriter.wordpress.com. I decided it would be best to publish my stories on a dedicated site. And I opened a new Twitter account to promote the stories. (@niosigoody)
One of the things that has been bothering me is that people aren’t reading my stories. Oh yes, some people are and the feedback has been incredibly encouraging. But until this collection is published, I want to get them out there. I want people to read them. I want Simon to read them. I want people I care about to read them and give me honest feedback.
I’m a writer and writer’s don’t create stuff so that they can tuck it away in a file somewhere – they write for readers.
So there we are.
Good to get that out of my head.
The other things that are bothering me are things I’ve talked about before – the horrible winter, the feeling of being trapped, the loss of personal freedom. Sometimes I feel like I’m in prison. None of these things are necessarily true – these are emotional and psychological reactions to where I am and the general state of things. The best I can do with that is get outside as much as possible – skiing or snowshoeing. The Catch-22 is that when the weather is bad, I can’t get to where the outdoor activity is. And then I go internal and reason with myself, look for silver linings, tell myself to cheer up etc. etc.
I walk a fine line between allowing my emotions to simply be and reining them in so that they don’t get the better of me. I walk a line between accepting myself exactly as I am and working to become a better, happier person.
And then there’s my word for the year – I am being challenged by it – as I should be. That’s the entire point. In a place and at a time like this – where is my fucking shine?
I know it’s there.
Even if I’m not shining at any given time, at least I know it’s there.