I’m getting pretty angry with myself for being in such a funk. I have never experienced this before – this lethargy – this thing that people say happens in the winter with lack of sun. I’ve never experienced this kind of lack either. Rain, yes – but with sunny breaks. This is just a blanket.
Maybe if I could get out. But I don’t even want to do that. I think about walking up the road on Red Mountain – yuck! And because the streets leading to hiking trails aren’t plowed – well – that lets that idea out.
I don’t think I have ever felt so frustrated. I want to scream and maybe this lethargy would go away if I could just go outside and scream my head off.
Mostly, I tell myself over and over that I have to pick myself up by my bootstraps. And I will. One way or another I will. I don’t like myself when I’m like this and not liking myself doesn’t help the situation. And then I get angry with myself for not being kinder and more understanding with myself.
Really? Can you see vicious circle here?
I wrote another story today. We were going to head to Nakusp to do our shopping (Xmas etc) but we woke up to snow. We’re going to give it another try tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
And it will get better. I am organizing a club snowshoe trip for next week. It’s going to be good.