First, thanks to Sheila Sinkie for the photo from yesterday’s snowshoe trip to Bucky Cabin. And, thank goodness we did the trip yesterday and not today. Judging by the emptiness of the road below our house, we aren’t the only ones who are not venturing past our driveway. Fact is, even going down the driveway is a bit of an adventure. The snow came down all last night and hasn’t stopped all day. There are two more days of snow in the forecast.
In other words, we are housebound.
For me, that means working and doing everything I can around here. Today I expanded my “daily work” – not only did I write my book, submit my manuscript and write and submit another article, I also browsed through hundreds of freelance writer listings, carefully weeding out the ones that did and did not interest me – applied for two.
That said, I am not feeling terribly good even about the ones I applied to. They are ones that interest me and that I can do well but it’s not work I actually want to do. I want to remain “retired” working only on my original ideas. That I feel good about. The other feels like a “have-to” – something I must do out of the need for an income. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
Yeah – well – suck it up, buttercup.
I don’t want to be in a state of anger and resentment. I have to remind myself that I chose to do everything I am doing. I chose this life and I am choosing how to deal with it. As soon as I wrap my mind around that, I realize that I am probably dealing with it all pretty well – constructively and creatively. Mostly, of course, I want to get myself out of here so that I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do. But that’s in the works as well.
Attitude is everything. Must take a deep breath and cultivate right attitude. Funny how that’s sometimes so much easier said than done.
Today, it could well be that the snow is getting me down. I am so done with this weather. I’ll be okay with never seeing snow again unless it’s on top of a mountain.
Grrrrr – that’s how I am feeling.
I expect and want to have every day be rather Pollyana-ish – sunshine, roses and puppy dogs. Being human, I am going to have days like today. So, considering that it is a day like that, I think I’m doing pretty well – getting stuff done.
An interesting exercise: knowing that there is always enough time, money and energy for what is truly most important to you, all you have to do to find out where your priorities lie is to look at where you spend your time, energy and money. It doesn’t matter what you say is important – it’s what you do that counts.
Simon’s happiness is crazy important to me – that’s why I’m here. It’s why I put myself in this place. What else? I spend my time and energy on hiking and writing. That’s no surprise. So – if I think I have anything to be displeased about, it would behoove me to take a second look. These three things that matter to me – and they do – very much – they are the places I am putting my time, energy and money. If there is anything missing – it’s that cushion of comfort I need – that’s what I forgot to take into account. Knowing that, I am also on the road to fixing it.
Next on the agenda:
1. screw those freelance jobs.
2. write another magazine piece and submit it – a piece that is mine and that I really want to do.
Lesson learned: be true to yourself, even if it doesn’t make sense.