Ticking but not tocking – just ticking things off my list and feeling good about it. My biggest, shall we call it, challenge, these days is with the new manuscript I am writing. It demands that I dig very deep.
This is also a good thing. When I chose my second word for the year – fierce – it was a brilliant choice. I have to dig – long ago and far away and deep down, to unearth the fierceness that I know is hidden in there, suppressed and buried for most of my life, replaced with fear and deference.
I am doing the work – and if this work never sees the light of day, I genuinely don’t care – all I really need is for it to see the light of the sun I am shining on it.
And so this morning was pretty much dedicated to submissions, writing, queries and proposals. I’m liking this work because it is work I care about. This is the kind of writing I genuinely want to do – it gives me joy. It also challenges me and at times, exhausts my emotional resources.
But it’s worth it.
As I do this work while keeping up with everything else on my list – everything that makes this house a home – I feel better about myself. I do believe that people need to do meaningful work to build up and build upon their sense of worth and esteem. This is especially true if achievement is part of that person’s DNA.
So – feeling good about myself, feeling good about two upcoming snowshoe trips, and feeling good about plans for the future – all the work I will continue to put in.
What I really want now is some of this seed-planting to bear fruit. It will. I am now in that happy place of expecting something exciting to happen every time I open my inbox. That, in itself, is a big reward.