And, as I examine this statement, I want to assure you, dear reader, that all I am doing is examining my life – not condemning it or even criticizing it – simply observing, analyzing and being curious. Mostly, I am curious.
I am curious that what makes me feel best these days is ticking things off my list. I’m not even sure that what is on that list is important – so long as I accomplish everything I have placed on it.
I know I do this to get my needs met constructively – but I’d sure like to get those other needs met too. And I’m working on it.
What would I do right now if money were no object? That’s always one of those good “trick” questions that asks you to examine where your passions lie.
My answer is that I am torn. Part of me – probably most of me – would be doing what I am right now. And that’s because I made a commitment and I love this man in my life. How could I do anything else but be with him? – and find a path forward we both love?
If money were no object? Hell, part of that is so easy. Pay off debts – fast. Having a car payment every month is driving me mad (figuratively. um – literally?) Having any kind of monthly payments – not my style.
I would travel – a lot. I would also find the homestead we both want – a base to come back to – a place that deeply feels like home. A place that is warm and safe and imbued with love.
And give lots away to charity.
Travel, write, create a home – those three things are paramount. I think.
And that brings me to my next job. I’ve been ticking things off on my to-do lists every day and most of those things involve writing. I think I have a new piece of writing to do.
An examined life.
I need to transcend this place I find myself and I can only do that by going deep.