I took these house photos a few days ago – so there – updated on what the downstairs looks like now. Today we went shopping in Nelson and bought everything we need to complete the downstairs bathroom, right down to a shower curtain and bath mat. Hurrah! One more thing to tick off the list.
So, on the way back we talked – as we are wont to do. Everyday life here has its ups and downs and we acknowledged that it’s so easy to get caught up in the minutia of day-to-day existence. We focus on what needs to be done, how our budget is holding out, groceries, meal planning, trench digging – and on and on. In other words, we get caught up in the things most couples focus on.
And that’s fine, as long as we don’t lose sight of the bigger picture – that’s where life really happens. That’s what’s important. We may struggle or get bored or irate or antsy – but when we step outside that, we can see clearly that we have each other and that we love each other. As long as we love and respect and honour the other person – as long as we hold them and their dreams as important – as long as we understand that we are here for each other, to help each other grow, learn and thrive, to deepen our spirituality – as long as we have that and keep the lines of communication open, then we have the whole system beat.
It sounds an easy thing to do but it takes awareness and vigilance. It also take conscious effort. The easiest thing to do is fall into a rut. The work is in doing the work that is necessary to keep a relationship alive, growing, thriving and loving. It’s a commitment that you don’t make once – you make it consciously every day.
Always we begin again. Every morning, we begin life anew. Every day we rededicate ourselves to life – to living in a loving, aware universe. And the only way to live in that kind of world is to create it.
I think it’s a mistake to live a life for another person. It has always been true that you have to love and nurture yourself first – then you can give all that love and care to another person. Like almost everything else, it’s easier said than done. I know that I miss the mark time and again. I refuse to be down on myself – that helps no one. It’s a matter of picking myself up every time I fall and beginning again. Beginner’s mind.
More and more, I find it easier to come to life with that mind because, oddly enough, I realize every day that I know virtually nothing.
Oprah used to have a question on her show: “What is the one thing you know for sure?” The first time I heard that, I thought about it, believing I could come up with some pretty profound answers. After all, other people did – they had some really good ones. I can’t remember any of the “deep and meaningful” answers I came up with because confronted with that question right now, I don’t have a clue.
I suppose the only thing I know for sure is that I don’t know anything for sure. I believe some things. I suspect some things. But goshdarnitall – what do I actually know? Even the best and brightest scientific minds are giving up on knowing anything for sure.
I suppose I know that I’m alive in this world, that I am on a particular path that I am sharing with someone I love, that I am doing my best given what I know and in order to do better, I need to know more (particularly about myself). Most of all, I know that I have considerable work to do to come to the place I am aiming for. I can’t even put words to what I’m reaching out for – some kind of enlightenment or understanding or transcendence – something that keeps pulling on my soul. The closest I’ve come to answers is when I’ve been in the extreme beauty of the high alpine – that’s when I know I’m close and interestingly, there are no words or thoughts, only deep feelings that no language I know can describe.