Simon found a really nice trail yesterday and we explored it today. The trail runs down to the lake through a pretty forest to a beach and a day-use area. Farther along the lakefront walk are a bunch of lovely tent sites – and then we completed our morning loop by taking a steep-ish trail back up. Tomorrow we will explore the viewpoint trail. This is about four minutes from the house so very nice to have in the back yard. The dogs loved it too – especially Shanara who adores the water. Abby liked it because it wasn’t too long.
And so, a tiny bit of shopping in town, lunch, a nap and it feels like the day is almost over.
What a strange life this is. I’m still finding my feet. Clearly I’m not going to be challenging myself every day like I did yesterday. This afternoon, I find I am grappling for some kind of meaning. Yes, I’m writing my book – but right now it doesn’t feel meaningful. I’m going through the motions. Keeping myself busy. Vacuuming this afternoon. Yup, it’s come to that. Cleaning the house is “something to do.”
I’d love to hang pictures and make the place feel more like home, but all these things have to wait. I am restless and lethargic – both at the same time.
I know I’m still finding a sense of equilibrium here. I know it’s going to take time. I know there will be good days and not so good days. These feels like a not so good day. I kind of just want to get out and walk – not drive. But there’s no place to just walk – not without driving first. And I feel whiny, which means I’m mad at myself.
Sometimes it’s best just to shut down feelings altogether – just get on with life and let it all work itself out. Although I must say, I’d love to scream, yell and throw things right now. Can’t help but think that it would feel very good indeed.