Love Letter to my Husband

p1000841_fotor Happy first anniversary, my love, my husband, my best friend. Even though we are miles apart, I have been with you all day – and am with you still.

One year ago, we hiked up Mount Tzouhalem from Genoa Bay Road. We talked and talked and talked (well, to be honest, you talked more than I did – smile). We talked about what it takes to have a great relationship. We talked about couples we knew who surrounded themselves with love – and there was a subtext in that talk. We were testing the waters. It came as no surprise to me certainly, and probably not to you either, that we wanted and valued the same things. We continued the pattern we started on our very first hike: “me too.”

I told you, at the top of the mountain, about a great pain I had suffered – and you listened. For the first time ever, I felt truly heard, understood and utterly safe. You told me that my confidences were safe with you. I knew, beyond a doubt, that this was true.

I had already fallen in love with you and today, I love you even more than I did then. Every day, I wake up and my heart is more full. I have never experienced so much love – I have never received such love. I am grateful that you are in my life – every day.

Today we are physically apart – but not apart in any other way. As promised, I carried you in my heart today as I retraced our steps up that trail to the top of Mount Tzouhalem, along Field of Dreams and to the same lunch spot. Yes, it was supposed to rain, but just as you had predicted, the rain stopped just before I reached the trailhead, and even before Abby and I crested the top, the clouds rolled away and the sun shone down – warm and bright.

I hiked slowly and deliberately. I thought about you and about everything we have shared in this past year. I thought about the anxiety I had in the early days and weeks – the uncertainty – the questions. I thought about how our love has grown. I thought about the certainty I have now – no questions – I am sure of your love. This does not mean that I take your love for granted. I feel blessed by it. But I know you and I trust you – I trust our love. I know it is firm – a solid foundation.

I thought about you creating our home. I know that I am the luckiest woman in the world.

I thought about disagreements we have had in the past year. It hasn’t been all puppy dogs, sunshine and rainbows. But I think we have emerged stronger for those times. We have learned more about each other and we have helped each other on our separate journeys – and our together journey. My journey is intricately entwined with yours now.

I bless what we have. For the first time, I love someone and am loved by them without feeling any diminishment in myself, my freedom, my autonomy or my independence. We are together because we want to be. I choose you for my husband every day – consciously and with love.

I miss you – your physical presence – and yet I don’t pine for you. I am happy and joyful. I live my life richly and fully because I carry you and us in my heart.

I know that we will continue to make each other crazy now and then – how could we not? We are both certifiably nuts! But I also know that we will continue to accept each other fully for who we are and support each other in our journeys to grow into the best you and me we can be.

One year. So many more to come.

I love you so much.

You make me happy. You put a smile inside me every moment of every day.

Today I celebrate you and us.

Here’s to us!p1000843_fotor p1000847_fotor p1000853_fotor p1000854_fotor p1000856_fotor p1000859_fotor p1000863_fotor p1000865_fotor p1000870_fotor p1000872_fotor p1000874_fotor p1000877_fotor p1000879_fotor p1000880_fotor p1000885_fotor p1000888_fotor p1000889_fotor p1000890_fotor I built a cairn for us – silly, maybe – but today felt like a sacred ritual – and this was a ritual to us.p1000891_fotor p1000897_fotor p1000905_fotor p1000906_fotor

About goodyniosi

Writer, avid(!!!) hiker - living life to the fullest. Love, life, bliss - getting high on getting high (in the alpine that is)
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2 Responses to Love Letter to my Husband

  1. Ditto. Me too. Yes to everything you just said. I second that motion. I couldn’t have said it better. Absolutely. Unequivocally. Wholeheartedly. Willingly. One hundred percent. I’m in. Count on me. I’m in love. I’m the luckiest man alive. I miss you! I love you!
    Thank you for retracing our steps. My heart leaped as I looked at the pictures, the spot, the lunch, the memories of my old home and the SUN! I only wished I could have been standing there, walking there, holding you, and waiting to kiss you all over again!
    Hold on. I’m coming – and I’m never letting go. I promise. Your heart is safe with me.
    PS – I hope you like your anniversary gift when you arrive! I filled it full of love before I put it on!

  2. goodyniosi says:

    I want so much to kiss you. When I got back to the car, I remembered that kiss so vividly, I swear I felt it – am feeling your kiss right now – soon 🙂

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