Ask me how I feel and I’ll tell you that I have no idea. Simon is madly excited. I am making the choice out of pragmatic reasons and the expectation that I can make it work and be happy there. I know I can write. I know that I can find a hiking group and that I will find tons of hiking trails, even in the alpine.
I know that because I will be with Simon, we will be together and together we are a formidable force.
So – the commitment is made. As I said to Simon this morning (and boy – we’ve had a lot of talks about this), I will likely have times of sadness. I’ve loved my life on the island. I’ve had no reason to leave. I have friends and mountains and a hiking group and a place I’ve truly loved. Unlike Simon, I’m not moving toward a dream. I’ve been more than content.
So – I’m doing this for us and I’m reminding myself time and again that this is not the way it was with Jim, even though I’ve been suffering a big amount of deja vu.
But there it is – committed. I think once we’re into it, it’s going to be fun. And once we have a lot more land cleared and the garden started and the cleaning up (what a project) underway, it’s going to be great.
As for winter – I plan to focus on snowshoes, skis and a cozy wood fire.
And we may not be successful in our bid. If not, we move on to what will be an equally big project: Kaslo. This will be a very different life. Either one is a huge change from what my life has been. But again, I know Simon will do everything in his power to make either one work. And together, we can make each one work.
That’s the brave face I’m putting on it all tonight.
What I’m excited about it heading home after all this is done through Manning Park and doing one or two alpine hikes. This is another new place to explore. Never forgetting that exploring, hiking and being together in the mountains will always be part of our lives. It’s just a big change and changes of any kind are stressful and sometimes scary.
At the end of it all, I hope that at the very least we’ll be able to say, “Well, nobody died.”