Conscious Love

P1090960_FotorI know this is a strange illustration given the title of the post – but hang in there – the good stuff is coming.

This is Whistler RV Park – our one night stay before heading to Pemberton. The only reasons we are here: laundry (three loads: done!), empty black water and grey water tanks (done!), Fill fresh water tank (done!) Plug in to AC and run everything (including charging everything – done!). Use as much water and electricity as we want, including running the vacuum for a very long time (and emptying it three times!!!). Also, showering a lot, washing hair and generally revelling in the luxury of civilization before heading into the backwoods again. Oh – and yes – I am NOT COLD!

I think those should be enough exclamation marks to fulfill my monthly quota. But I am excited! (oops – there’s another one.)

Okay – let’s get back on topic. Yesterday, I read quite a wonderful post on conscious love – or, how relationships today don’t have to be what we have grown accustomed to: relationships where people try to put their best foot forward to meet other’s expectations – and where they have expectations of each other. In these sorts of relationships people attempt to fill roles and want others to fill roles too. People suppress or hide feelings they deem might affect the relationship negatively and sadly, when we hide our true feelings, we create distance – the exact opposite of what we truly want.

At any rate, I read this most excellent article.( http://shellybullard.com/the-4-qualities-of-a-conscious-relationship/) and wondered – what does a conscious relationship mean to me?

The simple answer is love An open heart filled with love that is unafraid to give and receive is the cornerstone of a great intimate relationship. That’s what I believe.

I also believe that the purpose of a relationship is for two people to come together and support each other on their path of growth, waking, exploring and healing.

I believe that a successful relationship requires two strong people (or people willing to become strong) who do not require another to complete them. Each person knows he or she is complete. But they do want to share their lives and love because in the sharing, there is expansion and growth. There are also challenges. We carry baggage we’ve accumulated since childhood and through our past relationships. In an intimate relationship, when we are fully open and vulnerable, we will inevitably trigger fears, anger and all sorts of emotions and defence mechanisms we have built up.

How do we handle these triggers? In a conscious relationship, I believe we strive to understand that the feelings we have belong to us. No one made me feel this way. It may very well be true that the love of my life did something that triggered an emotion, but it is also more than likely true that this was not his intention. I think it’s wise for me to feel the feeling, look for its source and even discuss it with my love. This is the path of healing – understanding that the past is not the now.

I believe that in a conscious relationship I will honour my feelings and respect those of my partner. I would hope that we will always talk – that we will always be open and honest – and that every action will come with an intention of love.

I want to add to my partner’s life and happiness, and this doesn’t diminish mine. I sacrifice nothing. This only adds to my own joy because, at the same time, I am honouring what makes me come alive. It is up to me to feed my fire and passion.

These are some of my thoughts. On a slightly different (but oddly similar) track, I had a thought late last night: that the past and the future are dreams. The past is one that I had in my sleep. The future is playing with things that might be. The now is the only waking time we have – the only consciousness we know. To be truly conscious in love and in everything else in life, we must be here now.

The relationship I have is the one I have now. It isn’t the one I had twenty years ago or the one this will evolve into. It is today – all the joy and love and happiness I want is what I create now. If I want love in my life, I simply have to choose to live it and give it right now.

Sounds simple.

It probably is.

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