I like to think of our arguments as “minimalist.” They generally go like this:
They have been known to escalate to:
“Yes, I did.”
“No, You didn’t”
And what do we argue about? Today it was about chocolate. Say what you will, but you can never deny that we are creative about the subject matter we disagree about.
It’s well-known that I love chocolate and buy lots of it. You never know when you’ll need it as a survival food. If an earthquake strikes, we’ll have chocolate. I buy quality and I buy a variety. Like many other things (socks, underwear, T shirts), I rotate chocolate.
By this, I mean that when I buy a backup supply, it goes underneath the stash that’s already in my cupboard. That way, the bars I bought first get eaten first. I think this is sound and logical reasoning. Simon asked if I’d ever checked the expiry dates, insinuating that I may not have my bars in proper date-appropriate rotation. I argued that I depended on the grocery store to do that. Simon said that surely the store never checked dates.
I said that my rotation method worked perfectly.
Simon said it didn’t.
I argued he’d never eaten a stale chocolate bar from my stash; therefore the system works to perfection.
He said that he suspected that if he checked the expiration dates on my bars, he’d find that my system was less than ideal.
I said that only one thing was more obsessive than a person who rotates chocolate, and that was a person who checked on the rotation to make sure it was done perfectly.
He said, “not so.”
I said, “oh yes.”
He said my system was flawed.
I said it wasn’t
After that we went to minimalist arguments.
“Yes it is.”
“No it isn’t”
From there we devolved into something about being right.
“Yes I am.”
“No you’re not.”
This argument, which went on for far longer than you would think possible would have ended in my favour had I now begun giggling hysterically. It always ends this way. Although I believe that on this occasion, Simon laughed so hard he almost drove off the road. He didn’t think I noticed but I did – oh yes – that car wobbled. That can’t be denied.
It was about then that he said, “I love my life.”
“I said something like, “I’m going to pee all over your car.”
We’ve also had arguments about sock rotation. But I’ll save that for another day.
The photos? A beautiful afternoon walk to the Nanaimo River Hatchery – the dogs had a wonderful time!
Tomorrow: Mount Becher! Snow! (and who knows what else?)