No matter how strong, loving and beautiful a relationship, it isn’t always going to run smoothly. Perhaps in an ideal world, two people ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after with never a word of discord.
But we live in a real world. We are real people and that can mean conflict. I think the success and happiness of a relationship lies not in avoiding conflict but in resolving issues when they come up – and making sure the game is win/win.
So, we had an issue last night. It’s no wonder really – we are going through massive changes and with those changes comes stress.
Last night I felt tears come to my eyes – the first time in many years. At the same time, I listened carefully to what Simon had to say and even though there were emotions involved, I discerned the truth in his words. I felt sad because of the negative emotions but more than that, I felt disappointed in myself – that I hadn’t had the self awareness to be a kinder person.
Happily, we talked openly and honestly and went to bed hugging, kissing and loving each other – madly and deeply.
Looking back, I’m grateful Simon spoke up about something I was doing – quite unconsciously really – but doing something negative all the same. I can’t change and improve if I am unaware. So, the good news is, that I now have an opportuntiy to break a habit.
As time goes by and we grow ever closer, there will surely be more conflicts – I hope we always resolve them lovingly and with care for the other person. This is the man I love – a person I never want to hurt or upset. I probably will again – inadvertently. I hope he continues to be open with me about his feelings so that I can learn – and I hope that I also have the courage to speak when it’s necessary.
Together we can grow and deepen our love.
So – after all that, today has been a truly stellar day. I got out for a couple of hours with the dogs in the Lantzville Foothills and almost immediately felt peace and happiness wash over me – hiking does that for me every single time.
I vacuumed, did laundry, shopped – got more “stuff” for our trip.
And now, dinner is in the oven and will be ready when Simon comes home.
GAD!! I feel like the quintessential 1950s housewife. “Hello dear! Did you have a nice day! I’ll just put dinner on the table!”
Good thing I love him so much.