Thoughts on hiking (Mount Benson), Love and Work

P1080981_Fotor Let’s start with hiking: today felt like the first day of summer – and I have the well-scratched and bitten legs to prove it. Yep – shorts season has begun and if you’re going to insist on doing Mount Benson by the climbers route, you’re not going to come back unscarred. Proud to show off those scratches! yes, I am.

Deb showed up unexpectedly and that was a nice bonus for the day. So she and Abby and I set off for the top – wonderful hard work, the kind of work my body has needed. Then, after a three-hour climb and a nice lunch on top, basking in warmth and sunshine, we ground our way back down for two hours. And yes, it is a grind, no matter which route you take. Still, we were all satisfied – even Abby I think, especially when she was able to jump into the back seat of the car and immediately fall into a deep doze.

I even took my GPS along and recorded the track – and then accidentally erased it at the end of the day. Methinks I am still on a learning curve with my new tech toy.

I am now fresh out of a warm bubble bath – ahhhhh (that ahhh actually deserves more h’s, but I chose to exercise self-restraint.)

I’ve had considerable fun uploading and reviewing my photos. I need a new camera – sigh – why do these digital cameras always get blotches somewhere in the workings that you can’t get rid of – and then the marks show up in every photo? A way of ensuring obsolescence?

On to other subjects: thoughts on love. Simon sent me an email last night that brought me to that place you only hear about in love songs: the point of heart swelling so much that you forget to breath, of tears welling in your eyes – and I haven’t cried in years. I thought I’d forgotten how.

I’ve lived on this planet for sixty-nine years and in all that time, I didn’t know what love was. I thought I did. Like the country song’s title, I thought it was all about, “Love hurts.”

Now I know that if it hurts, it isn’t love. Love heals – that’s a song title I’d like to see. I believe that love has a purpose – perhaps more than one – but certainly one of them is to heal. Simon loves me with a love I didn’t know was possible. I also didn’t know that my heart could expand to a size where it could accept, embrace and absorb this love – and then give it back in equal measure. This is the miracle of love: it grows, and the more it does, the more it continues to grow – right into infinity.

Simon loves me. I want the world to know because it’s a miracle and when a miracle this big occurs, I want to broadcast it. Yes, his love makes me happy, but more than that, it humbles me – that such a precious gift would be bestowed on me. I am amazed. I am grateful. I am blessed.

Every day I am alive, I want to prove myself worthy of this love.

Months ago, I wrote in my blog that I believe love is the glue that holds the universe together. Time has passed since I wrote those words, but today,I am more convinced of their veracity that ever. But I’ve also discovered that in order to see this – to notice it – I have to look through my eyes with love. I have to come from that intention. When I love, not just Simon or his beautiful daughter or our puppies or even myself, then I am able, more and more, to see the love that exists everywhere.

Today, I noticed how the birds love – and the trees, embracing the earth, nurturing their offspring – loving even us who would do them harm. I see that when I love without expectation or judgment, I connect. I admit it is easiest for me to connect in that way with nature: trees, mountains, creatures – but I can and want to extend this to everyone I meet and touch. It’s a work in progress. Thanks to Simon, my forever love, that work is becoming easier.

Last thought of the day: work. I have a great deal of work to do: editing my book and editing Simon’s book: primary focus. But this morning, very early, I let inspiration carry me away and began writing the sequel to my book – five pages completed and more to come this evening. Too soon? Sure. But would I let that stop me?

I think it’s time to noodle on the guitar.

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