After a crazy, stormy night and day, Abby and I finally got out for an hour or so this afternoon, but not on our usual trails. I just couldn’t face the mud and new rivers that surely sprang up overnight on the mountainside; so we had a road walk – rather unusual to be sure, but still, it was nice to get out, especially after I had threatened to stay in bed all day with the covers pulled over my head.
At any rate, I spent the morning writing. In fact, I wrote almost all day yesterday and I was desperate for a break.
I mused on that during our walk. Simon and I have both been completely immersed in our books. We have two very different styles of writing as well as disparate genres, but the process is the same: it’s intense and can be all consuming. But while Simon can sit down for hours with his manuscript, I need frequent breaks. I love the creative process but it drains me too and I get restless. After a break, whether it’s to take out the recycling, wash the dishes, strum the guitar or walk the dog, I’m ready to get back to it with fresher eyes.
if I have any weakness in my work, I think it has to do with repetition. This second draft is interesting. For the most part, I’m happy with it. At the same time, I have moments, today for instance, when I wonder, “Who on earth is ever going to read this? Who would want to?”
I wonder if I’m wasting my time. Maybe I should get a “real” job, a notion that is patently absurd given that I am retired and don’t want to work; neither do I need to.
In the end, I am writing this manuscript for me. It is true of this book and any future writing I will do. I may have an audience in mind and I certainly want to write a piece that people will want to read. I even want to write something that will inspire people. However, the bottom line is the pleasure I derive from the writing as I am doing it, every single day.
I can’t not write. This is how I express myself. It’s important to me beyond words. And I do so love words. Language. Ah, language. The word itself sends shivers running through me.