Today I hiked again – and that means I hiked two days in a row! No this may not seem like a big deal, but after my slothful ways of late (indulging my cold by lying around in a duvet nest all day) I feel like a human being again. In other words – ready to hit the white stuff on Mount Becher later this week.
It was a rather gorgeous day again – one of those quiet, alone hikes that allows my mind to drift to a place where it almost disappears. When I did pause to think at all, I thought about my word for 2016.
My word is “love.”
I can’t imagine a more appropriate word to have chosen. And for many reasons, some of which I am sure are not apparent to me yet.
But here is what I know: I know that I have never loved like this before. Certainly I have loved, but it completely astounds me that after 69 years on this planet that include two marriages and several other relationships, I can still have a first when it comes to love. I have never been loved like this. I have never had a relationship where the two words I tend to string together most often are “me too.” I have never had a man I will stay awake with until 2.30 am (!!!) talking about the most intimate parts of our hearts, minds and souls and sharing without fear of being negatively judged. I have never before been seen for exactly who I am and been accepted without any desire for change. I have never had the best parts of me acknowledged and celebrated. I have never been physically loved in such a selfless, wholehearted way. I have never had a love so filled with generosity. I have never had a love that includes so much laugher and silliness. I have had a love that feels like home.
And so, this is a good word for me for 2016. But it is also a word that encourages and inspires me to give more love. Most obviously, I want to give it to Simon from this bottomless depth, but I also want to see the world through a context of love – to realize that love is everywhere and that I am capable of becoming a better and more loving person by giving it away at every opportunity I find. And the more opportunities I find, the more will present themselves. This is one of the miracles of love – the more you give, the more there is to give away.
So this ran through my mind today. And then, of course, the more trivial things – like going back to my place tomorrow to do laundry – (many, many loads) and shopping and seeing my accountant and, and, and. But most of all, my mind was reasonably blank, or noticing the beauty all around me with complete wonder.
I can hike the same trails over and over, and they are never the same. And this is also a miracle – how nature alters herself and puts on new clothes of startling beauty every hour of every day – how nature simply lights up our lives.
One last thing today: happy aniticipations- dinner out at The Royal Dar, snowshoeing on Wednesday, and dancing the night away again on Friday, listening to Simon and his band.
Since when did I become such a darn night owl? (Or a bat, as Simon puts it?) I can’t help but insist that he has totally corrupted me. The problem is that I don’t mind. And that, I assume, is only because in the last three months, I have completely lost what remnants of my mind still remained.
I can live with that.