This morning, I walked early with Abby through the morning mist. It came as no surprise to me to find myself thinking of Simon, with a Silly Idiotic Grin (SIG) on my face. This seems to happen a lot. And I noticed, more clearly than ever, the beauty all around me: the morning light, golden on the last leaves clinging to the bushes and alders – the mist moving slowly from the wetlands, up the grey tree trunks, meeting and dissolving into an emerging blue sky.
We walked and it suddenly occurred to me, that something had changed in my heart. The giddy, head-spinning love was still there – strong as ever. But something else had opened – or perhaps it was just that my heart had grown. But I knew instantly that the love I feel had gone to a new level – a new depth perhaps. Along with the rush of joy and the anticipation of meeting again, there was a serenity and a peace that I don’t think I have ever felt. It was like settling into a place of comfort where I have always been meant to be.
I came home then and something led me (as I was dusting) to open a little book I was given some years ago. And this was the piece that spoke to me:
“I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love. but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that.”
I rather wish I had written that. It’s by Brian Andreas.
I wanted to write many, many things about love in the blog today – I wanted to describe what it is in all its myriad forms.
But really, there are no words right now.
Just a feeling of peace and joy and being filled with something that is utterly life-giving and affirming – a power that is the sweetest thing on earth.