Well – I got some sleep last night – which was good. So did Simon – which is good. And I’ve had a wonderful day. I got a ton accomplished, including vacuuming out my car (half our driveway was on the driver’s side floor), washing Abby’s car blankets (half the trails on Vancouver Island were imbedded in the fibres) and going to the car wash. I got some shopping done (needed more chocolate – note the word “needed”), went to the market and just generally did a lot of “stuff.”
I realize that I am as happy alone as I ever was. Happier really, because I think of Simon all the time and that makes my heart leap. But here’s the thing: being with him has raised the bar on my happiness. So, even though I’m as happy and joyful as ever, there is an added something when we are together that is so remarkable, I can’t duplicate it on my own.
And that feels perfectly “right.”
There have been times in my life when I have missed someone and it has been an aching feeling – really not fun. This is so different it isn’t even in the same category. This is simply a case of being apart and being happy right now to be living my life, knowing that I will be even happier when we are together again.
I don’t know if that even makes sense or if I have been remotely accurate in expressing how I feel.
I feel a desire to write poetry.
And to listen to sappy love songs.
And to smile a lot – an awful lot.
All day I have been so much nicer to complete strangers than I have ever been. I just want to spread all this love around.
I feel like dancing.
And singing.
And losing myself in the golden glow of October light.