Letting go

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I think the lesson of “letting go” is one I am constantly learning. I’m also  beginning to see the beauty of it. This is what I call “progress.

I can recall having an enormous vegetable garden that I obsessed over. It owned me rather than the other way around. Every day I urgently tackled my work and chores – getting them out of the way so that I could get down to the garden and weed and water – stake and prune. It was crazy. I was full of anxiety over weeds left unchecked. I worried about things I simply couldn’t control, like slugs and snails and rabbits – even tomato rot.

Truthfully, I derived pleasure from seeing it look the way it ought to – after hours of work (and that pleasure was fleeting because gardens are an ever-evolving and changing landscape) and after harvesting bushels-full of beans or strawberries.

I’ve let go of that. My back mattters to me more. My peace of mind is a priority. Even more than that, I don’t want to be a slave to my vegetables – I will do what I can to produce them, but my hiking, backpacking, walking and just plain old reading a book are far more important now.

These days, I plant my seeds, water quickly, push a hoe through the weeds now and then, getting rid of what I can and leaving the rest – and I pick what I can eat. Simple – and peaceful.

I have let go of the idea of control. I can’t control nature; I can simply work with nature to the best of willingness and ability. I can love and appreciate nature – not control it.

There are times, like right now, when I wonder if I actually have control over anything. The finest thing, for me, is to let go of all of it, to embrace what comes my way, give it all my best shot and leave it at that.

It’s an ongoing lesson – but I’m learning it – one little step at a time.

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