I’ve had a full work day and, of course, fitted in my two walks with Abby – so it has been a good day.
A very good friend asked for feedback today from a group of us: what did we not like about her. That was a tough one because I think she’s pretty much perfect. Then another friend said she wanted the same feedback. And that was more difficult.
What I realized when I thought more deeply about that, is that when there are things in other people that we resist or that we don’t particularly like, it says much more about us than them.
Oh yes, I have always known this in my head, but this little exercise brought it into my heart. It is my experiences with my mother over the years that have convinced me that doctors are not good and that most illnesses are not real. So this reflects on me – not on anyone else.
I can also see very clearly where I turned the corner – where I diverged form the path I could so easily have followed – walking in her footsteps. I had to work hard not to become like her. I’m sure there are ways in which her influences show up in me – but I hope – very much – that I have become my own person.
Living in side my own body, heart and mind, it is hard to see sometimes where the influences start and end. I just have to trust myself. I also have to choose every single day to be happy, strong, healthy and positive. I do that by surrounding myself with wonderful people, by doing the things I love, by being clear about who I am and by getting the hell outside and moving my body.
Life is a never ending schoolroom. And ain’t that grand?