I’m amazed how tired I am – and how hard it is not to be able to lie down. It’s obvious to me that the pain is wearing on me – and yet I am very reluctant to take pills. I have morphine from the hospital – and that scares the heck out of nr. Julie brought over some Tylenol 1 – I think I will take one before bed tonight.
I feel a lot of odd emotions. Mostly I am angry with myself for hiking too quickly and carelessly in those circumstances. And I feel frustrated that my life is not magically back to normal – full energy and full throttle. And then I also feel lucky to have wonderful friends to help me – for instance Julie came over to walk Abby and to slice bread – which I discovered us very hard to do with one hand.
I know that it’s all going to be okay, but I’m afraid that this will set me back athletically – and I am sure I’ll be back up to speed quickly. But this slowness makes me feel old and I fear that.
I believe these are probably pretty normal thoughts to have. And I think it might be a good time to be patient and loving with myself.