Over the years I’ve heard many people talk about achieving balance in their lives. I’ve never understood the concept. Do they want an equal number of hours devoted to work and play? sleep and work? eating nad reading? What on earth is balance. I’d say that if you are passionate about something, then do it to death – why would you want to balance that with doing something you don’t much like? And conversely, if you don’t like something at all, why would you balance that with something you do like? I’d rather completely drop what I don’t like.
But I now find myself in te awkward position of trying to find some balance in one particular area of my life – at least I think it’s balance I’m after. Maybe I stand corrected.
I want to find balance between being well informed with what is going on in the world and retaining my joy in life. It’s not just news – it’s Facebook and Twitter and emails and just darn well everything. I hear about fracking poisoning our water, elephants being poached to extinction. Monsanto killing us with food, the dying of the bees, the tas sands destroying Canada, our prime minister destroying our country and democracy, whistleblowers in the US being hunted down, people being killed everywhere – the list is so long it would take all day to write it and then I know I’d be leaving something out.
I fear I walk a line between caring so much it hurts all the time and de-sensitizing myself so that I can carry on with my life.
Or I can do what I just did as I paused in this writing – stare mindlessly out the window in utter helplessness – not knowing what to do. Wondering if this insignificant life of mine (in the grand scheme of things) is worth caring about.
This life instinct is a puzzling thing.
Even more puzzling to me is the instinct to amass more and more wealth – and to kill others and not care about them. How do people become so insensitive and unfeeling? If everyone cared, surely we would not be in the state we are in.
I don’t have any answers. I wish I did.