I walked in the rain today – of course I walked in the rain: there was nothing else to walk in. In fact, after an all-day rain yesterday, I had to wear my gum boots. The trail had turned into a mighty river (well, maybe not mighty, but certainly a muddy, mucky stream).
As I walked I thought about how I walk with Abby every day. First there’s our half-hour morning walk and then our 60 – 90 minute afternoon walk. It happens without fail, every weekday. On weekends, the walks are longer – with at least one all-day hike thrown in.
But that isnt’ the only routine of my life. My life has patterns. Thinking about them today, I almost got a tad depressed. I mean really, from picking up the newspaper at the bottom of the driveway when I first wake up to reading for an hour before I turn off the lights at night – the pattern holds.
I have breakfast, I check my emails and Facebook. I work; I garden; I walk. I have lunch; I nap; I work; I walk. After work I check the news and Facebook and Twitter. I read; I male dinner; I eat; I read; I got to bed.
I’m not unhappy. I enjoy my life. By any measure, this is a good life. But, without a doubt, it is dull, routine and predictable. This is not the stuff of grand fiction or even a semi-fascinating autobiography. Thank goodness for my month in Europe coming up – I could die of boredom.
Except, of course, that I’m not really bored. It’s just that, I feel so settled. I could never have predicted a life like this when I was 18 years old, living in the Village, hanging out with rock bands and other disreputables – or when I was hitchhiking around Canada on a bus ticket and 25 cents in change.
Yes here I am. I’m happy. But – yes there is a but. At least today. I wonder. What big contribution have I made? What grand achievements can I be proud of? Have I simply lived an ordinary, self-centred, small life?
These are the questions I ask myself today.