Yes, I packed today – but not so much the household stuff. Today it was more about packing for my road trip and stay at the Hoffman Institue for the next week.
So – here’s the thing: this will be my last post for a week – perhaps even 8 days or so.
I understand that iPhones and iPads are considered contraband at Hoffman. With my luck, they’ll also take my stash of chocolate.
But no matter: the point is I’m going there to do the work. I know that the way to get the most out of this experience is to participate 100%. Even when I don’t want to do the work, I am determined to do the work.
And I know what I am after – my goal? To be authenticate. Ideally, I’d like to be authentic 24/7. It’s a lofty goal. Something to strive for. And no, I don’t expect perfection. But damn, wouldn’t it be nice?
I’m going to do the best I can. I’m also going to enjoy the road trip going there – through the beautiful Rocky Mountains where I’ve enjoyed some of the most beautiful hikes of my life.
And coming back, I’ll stay in Revelstoke for a night and hike Jade Pass the next day.
Back home? I suppose it will be full speed ahead.
Right now though, I am going to stay in the present – get up at 5.30 a.m. tomorrow and drive. And trust. And throw myself completely into the process.
See you in a week or so.
This is an interesting way to pack. I’m not packing everything. Simon is staying so I’m just packing my stuff – and leaving stuff – and it’s just kind of weird. It’s also a matter of trying to leave just enough stuff that we can still make meals etc. before I leave.
In a way, it’s cool. With every single item, I am asking myself if I want or need it. It matters, of course, whether or not it’s “mine” from before we joined households – but it also matters that I don’t take it with me if it’s not necessary. And so I find myself leaving things I thought I might take.
When we left the island I divested myself of a lot of “stuff.” And now – more divesting. With every single thing I take to the donation store or leave behind, I feel a bit lighter.
I am also slipping slowly back into a place of feeling abundant. I maxed out my TFSA today and I spoke to my Credit Union person – money is sliding into other accounts where I’ll get maximum yield. And I’ve got a new bank account called “travel” – that should see me through for the next 5 years at least of travelling and trekking.
Packing – I think the biggest chunk of it is done. If I put in a good day tomorrow (which I will), I’ll be leaving the day after with great peace of mind – and knowing that I can get in a couple of hikes before I leave.
Last night, I barely slept – and I felt it today. I hope that now that things are moving smoothly, I’ll sleep better.
So much excitement/stress. Good or bad – it”s all adrenaline and I need to calm it down.
It was another good-bye hike and a good-bye day.
Eleven of us went up Ruby Ridge. It was amazing to see Leon and Cecilia again and the gang from Fruitvale and – well, everyone.
I am going to miss these people a lot.
So it was wonderful to hike up Ruby Ridge and get to the far end. And then super to go back to Sheila’s for dinner and laughter and fun.
And what a beautiful day!
And the bank transaction finally came through. It’s 100% done. It feel good but also weird. I mean – I still live here and it’s not my house and it just feels weird.
But all moving in the right direction.
I won’t say I’ve been packing all day – but certainly a generous part of the day.
And now that I know what I’ve packed and what’s left, I have a tight, tense, anxious feeling. I want to get it all done. I feel like I am mentally trying to assess what’s left, what I need – how it will all work and I have too much attention on it.
It’s a good thing I’m hiking tomorrow. That’s the antidote and the answer to everything – get out in the mountains – climb up into the alpine – get some soul bliss going on.
Wednesday and Thursday I shall finish almost everything and then I am gone for 8 days. The Hoffman Process. I want to leave with a clear mind – not worried about loose ends.
I’m going to do everything I can to accomplish that.
Thoughts, feelings, emotions – a swirl…
Today was my good-bye hike with Ben. Ben: my partner in crime in the winter – the person who introduced me to extreme snowshoeing, who taught me to thumb my nose at avalanches while respecting their possibilities, and who inspired me to not only learn telemarking on snowshoes but also the art of the downhill bum slide.
He’s going to miss me – oh, not the snowshoeing bits – the arguing parts. Ben and I argue about everything and I understand we can be highly entertaining.
We hiked at Bannock Point for a couple of hours.
We argued pretty much the entire time. And then picked cherries at Frances’ place.
Oh yes – the photo – another thanks to Peter Berkey for that one.
There’s more packing to do. The unravelling is picking up speed.
So – what was the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning? “Akkkk – I forgot to write a blog post yesterday!”
So here’s one in the morning to make up for it. We got home late enough that it was just rushing to get the dogs fed and making dinner and – well – I forgot.
But in a week I am heading out to the Hoffman Process – no posts for an entire week. So okay legions of fans (maybe 1 or 2?) – there will soon come an entire week when you will have to survive without my daily drivel. Yesterday’s lapse was just about helping you make a gradual withdrawal!
Okay – yesterday. We drove to Nelson to the lawyer’s office to sign all the paperwork. It’s done. Well – done to the extent that it can be done. I don’t think I will truly breathe a sigh of relief until I see the money in my bank account. And, out here, modern technology doesn’t work all that well. Deposit into account? Not so much. It has to be a wire transfer.
But that’s okay. I am not going to complain.
So I think that Simon and I are both feeling pretty darn relieved. And still there is this stone of anxiety in my chest. I’m going to have to give it time to go away. And, of course, I have so much on my mind before I leave. The Hoffman Process is on my mind. I want to get all my finances sorted out and in various accounts – I want that feeling of control back again.
I have to pack.
I just have a whole lot of things to do. I have also decided to cast a spell over the skies this weekend. I want good weather (not these silly showers and thunderstorms) for Sapphire Lakes tomorrow and for Gimli on Sunday.
I also want good weather for Ruby Ridge on Tuesday.
Yes – I am asking for a lot. But if you don’t ask, you’ll never know what the answer will be.